Dan Sees Everything

  Watch this movie. Go to your Netflix, right now, and watch this. It's rare I pull the "command my audience to go and watch a movie" card, but I have a few reasons for doing so. Firstly, this movie is hella creative. It's a weird, high concept movie that is DIFFERENT. I love watching stuff and thinking, I have no idea what's going to happen here. It's increasingly rare these days and to see this paired with major Hollywood talent, I just think we should all watch it to send a message. WE WANT YOU TO TRY STUFF FILMMAKERS! Secondly, everyone on planet earth has Netflix so if you hate it it cost you exactly £0. But I don't think you'll hate it! Because it's a good time. It's tense, and interesting, it keeps you guessing and Spiderhead is honestly just a well written, directed and acted film. The basic premise is simple, instead of going to prison, you can go to a research facility where they test some funky drugs on you that control your behaviou...

  So before I get into this, a few thoughts. First off, like with all kids films, I waited a few weeks before coming to see this, so the crowd could die down and I wouldn't be so obviously an adult man going to see a kids film alone. On this occasion, that did not work, my cinema was RAMMED, on a Tuesday night! Weeks after the film's initial release! Madness. Secondly, how insane must be the film marketing executives  be going trying to figure out Gen Z? They get absolutely trolled into a thousand pieces by Morbius, believing that tons of Gen Z would go see it on re-release as a meme, and then they do t go. But then just weeks later all of Gen Z are FLOODING cinemas, wearing suits and eating bananas to go and see minions. How the hell are they meant to predict and market to this generation? The funniest thing is, the harder they try the worse they'll fail. It's so so fun to watch. I love the internet. Alright, on to the film Minions: The Rise of Gru has genuinely funny ...

  Please stop making these! I hate watching them, I hate reviewing them! Man did I dislike this. It just is all so tired, and boring, and it's weird and just makes me so sad because no one else makes dinosaur movies because of this franchises refusal to just die! I'm so angry I'm not even gonna make a job about why it should be "extinct!" 2/10 don't watch it don't waste your time it sucks it has one good scene, just YouTube it. SPOILERS I HATE JURASSIC WORLD! Alright so first off, this movie is long as balls! At least it feels it! I couldn't believe it was still going on at points! Thet bring back all the old actors so that people nostalgic for the 80s will come see it. They do very little and they all look sad to be here. Okay so first off Blue. I hate Blue. I hate that Blue had a baby with itself, I hate that they pretend this stupid dinosaur can understand Chris Pratt, it seems grateful at the end to Pratt for bringing it back, my brother in Christ ...

  We finally did it everyone! We saw Thor's bum!! Wait... Did we see it in Thor 1? When he was in that pool thing? I don't think we did. Oh well I don't care, and I don't care to do an ounce of research before writing this. This is the official release of Thor's bum to a theatre near you. If you're a truly bizarre human that is enough into Marvel films to consider seeing this but not so into them that you need a review to decide if this is for you, then before we get into spoilers I'll tell you this is a good time, worth the price of admission and you'll have fun with it. It'll make you laugh a lot, I doubt you'll be shedding any tears and you won't come out this film a changed person, but you'll have fun and a good time, and sometimes that's all we want out the cinema. Thor: Look At Thor's Bum is a rock solid 7/10. Rock solid like his buns of steel. SPOILER TIMEEE SPOILERS AHEAD! Alright so I feel the best way to discuss this fil...