So this is all gonna be spoilers so if you want to see this don't read any of my review. Downton Abbey (A New and Proper Posh Era) is like a 6/10 and if you watched all the series you probably adored this and it's like a 9/10 for you.
Alright here we go so first of all I absolutely love a hoyty toyty English set of humans. Oh how I adore it, it's so funny to me. They're all so polite but also massively impolite as well. Like to me it's so rude to have someone in your home and be like "alright see ya later I WILL SUMMON THE BUTLER TO ESCORT YOU OUT". Bro just walk them out yourself the poor butler is busy butling on the other side of the house!
So they telegraph pretty early to the audience that Maggie Smith is toast. From the perspective of someone that has never seen any Downton Abbey content I don't get why people are sad at the end because she spends the whole movie roasting people, then we discover as a young woman she had p*ssy so good it got her a villa, then she dies.
Yeah so that's a thing, the p*ssy must have been EXQUISITE. She met a French guy, he smashed her into a thousand pieces, she left him to go back to England and then he gave her a villa when he realised he had no shot anymore because she had a baby with another man.
Top tier Maggie Smith p*ssy is the only reasonable explanation for this man's actions.
He also married another bird, and left a picture of the best p*ssy he ever had up in the house. Unreal behaviour from this man.
Okay so the pacing of this film is really good. They split the massive cast in two, sending one half to France to deal with the villa situation, and one half stay in Downton Abbey to support a film crew in making a movie to pay for the Abbey's leaky roof. It's odd they need to do this given they seem to have infinite money for fancy dresses and shit but whatever.
I love them switching between the two halves of the cast like this, whenever one half starts to feel boring we go back over to France and hangout there for a bit. It's a nice balance and keeps things fresh, throw in Maggie Smith roasting people every now and then and you have yourself a movie!
It's so funny that in France they all wear pale suits to show it's hot except the big old guy that is Butler later he's like "I'm so English, far too English to be hot, also I'm racist but it's against the French so it's okay".
Oh also it's so so good that the only black people are a band in France, all the white people are dancing so terribly and it's so embarassing like all the people in this are just huge nerds except this awesome cool band who have to watch these nerds embarrassing themselves. Hilarious.
The actual best scene in the movie has a piece of acting in it that really impressed me. Maggie Smiths son is told by his wife she might have a terminal illness and his reaction is so raw, so real, I loved it. Really good stuff.
I mean they solved it pretty quickly and just said oh yeah it's not cancer she's fine, yayyy!
Okay what else is coming back to me? Oh yeah there's a gay butler and he is like oh yeah a gay actor let's be gay together but not do a kiss on screen because we want this film to make money everywhere and we can't let certain markets ban it. Yes China and the UAE, I'm looking at you.
The filming of the movie in Downton Abbey (like the fake film) is a fun little plot. I love when films make films in them because you Hollywood people love sucking themselves off it's really cute.
Oh man there's a HILARIOUS moment. So the director is like "the film is cancelled we can't make a silent film everyone loves talky films now!!" And then the main girl is like "what if we make this film into a talky?" And he's like "I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF THAT YOU ARE A GENIUS!" like seriously bro? You didn't think of that?! Stop it.
Neil's Dad from the Inbetweeners comes in as the audio guy and he's fine, was nice to see him.
Oh one more thing, at the start of the film there's a wedding of some people who I don't care about, and the reception is outside under all these marquees and that's it, and someone is like "this is the most fancy wedding I've ever been to".
Where was your last wedding just in a field full of cow manure? Everyone is in black tie all the time anyway so what makes this wedding so fancy? I think you just said that to be nice.
Oh it's so so funny that Daisy (the cooks assistant lady) is just SO horny for the actors. She basically frigs herself off at the sight of the leading lady. Her husband is just sat there taking it as well, poor guy. They have a boring sub plot that ends in a cute way where the annoying guy they're living with won't fuck off so they make him bang the cook through subtle manipulation.
The film wraps up by giving everyone what they have ever wanted. It's a bloody good time and I think I'm going to live life as an overly posh English prat for a while.
Forgive me for the swearing in this review, I forget my place, m'lady.
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