Death On The Nile (2022)

Did you enjoy Murder on the Orient Express? I'm guessing the answer is "yeah kinda", because I have never met anyone that said anything greater than that. Well somehow that film got a sequel, this time taking on Agatha Christie's much less beloved but still heralded as a good murder mystery Death On The Nile. In my opinion this is a rather dramatic step back from Murder on the Orient Express, which already was a fairly average film.

This is a tough one to say without spoilers, but all I'll say is we have some actors doing a good job, and then we have Gal Gadot. It's not a good casting, she's not convincing in this role, and her character is so pivotal particularly in the first third of this movie that it really drags the rest of it down.

There's also a few moments of really terrible green screen in this, and it just made me ask why? Why not just go and actually film it on location? Is it THAT much more expensive? I mean we are trying to make a decent movie here, should we not have a go?

3/10, some good moments but you'll be bored for a lot of it.

SPOILER TIME I AM ABOUT TO RUIN THE MYSTERY

Alright so I totally called it.

I hadn't read the book, but I totally nailed it. The set up for Gal Gadot coming in and seducing Margot Robbies man was wayyy too obvious. The movie then spends a lot of time going AIN'T NO WAY IT'S WHAT YOU THINK IT IS DAN. Which totally convinced me even further, they were trying to throw me off the trail but I'm the smartest man in the world.

And you do feel smart, because the actual smartest man in the world (Kenneth Brannagh as Poirot) seems like a drunk idiot on this boat.

He seems a lot less competent and a lot more easily distracted in this, then at the end he's just like ah it was you two wasn't it. And they go yeah I dun it.

As I said before spoilers, I hated Gal Gadot in this. Margot Robbie runs absolute rings around her in the scenes they share. Hollywood needs to learn that models can't always act. Gal Gadot frustrates me, because I do see potential but good lord she needs coaching and lessons. Margot Robbie should have given her some tips.

Oh also Poirots mate gets moidered. I felt nothing.

When Gal Gadot got moidered I was happy, because her bad acting died with her.

There was some fun to be had here, just not enough to get above a 3/10.

Comments

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